Monday, November 21, 2011

Many More Bar Jokes Involving Grammar and Punctuation

McSweeney's recently published "Seven Bar Jokes Involving Grammar and Punctuation"—and those jokes launched a joke exchange (on Facebook) between me and my brilliant sister Sarah. We came up with more grammar- and punctuation-related (and usage-related) jokes. I think ours are far better than McSweeney's, but you be the judge:

Sarah: An ellipsis walks into a bar ...

Sarah: The past perfect had walked into a bar.

Sarah: A priest, a rabbi, and a serial comma walked into a bar.

Charles: This guy who had a relative clause walked into a bar.

Sarah: A mysterious woman—overly fond of em dashes—walked into a bar.

Charles: A copy editor walked into a bar and sat down next to a preposition he wanted to end a sentence with.

Sarah: A bleary-eyed copy editor walked into a bar and refused to leave until properly hyphenated.

Charles: A subject walked into a bar and demanded a compound predicate!

Charles: How many writers does it take to stet a light bulb that has been changed?

Charles: A simile walked into a bar like a salmon swimming upstream to spawn.

Sarah: Into a bar walked one line of blank verse.

Sarah: A parallel construction walked into a bar, sat on a stool, and spat at a stranger.

Charles: A superfluous comma walked, into a bar.

Sarah: An unnecessarily capitalized Man walked into a bar.

Sarah: Now that's just pathetic; a semicolon walking into a bar as though he were a full-fledged colon.

Charles: Apostrophes are not welcome in the bar's around here.

Sarah: Your not kidding about that.

Now add your jokes in the Comments section!


Anonymous said...

What fun! Thank you for sharing.
How about this one?
A gerund kept walking around the bar.

Anonymous said...

A semi-colon walked into a bar; no one knew what to do with it.